i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i already hear my dad disowning me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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