My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
