You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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