Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if only i could text you this smell
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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