Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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