South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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