had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm both gender and math confused
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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