So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
