That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
