'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
