i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
