Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
