May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize