she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
