dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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