You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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