3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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