Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
