Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
