chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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