:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
