I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
