i think my mom watched the whole time
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
