Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
