Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
