I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
