take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
