**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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