why didn't you poke me back
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
