I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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