So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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