youre lurking in front of me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
