And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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