Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
