You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
