I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
