I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
