Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
