Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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