how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
