Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize