We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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