and you said cock pushups were impossible
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's never too late to be topless.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
