On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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