I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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