we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
