were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
do herpes really smell.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
