Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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