Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
