dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
