Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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