dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you didnt know i had herpes?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
