dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
