And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
