At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
