I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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