it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
how drunk are you?
Several
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
