I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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