Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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