nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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