Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
