Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
