just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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