Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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